{"id":746,"date":"2012-08-15T10:42:12","date_gmt":"2012-08-15T17:42:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tailwheelersjournal.mechadigital.net\/?p=746"},"modified":"2021-08-26T20:37:59","modified_gmt":"2021-08-26T20:37:59","slug":"35-oxnard-tower","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tailwheelersjournal.com\/35-oxnard-tower\/","title":{"rendered":"#35 Oxnard Tower"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
The Duckbox Crash, the climax of the act.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Back in 1987, I was making a living as an airshow performer.\u00a0 I had a comedy act called \u201cThe Acme Duck and Airshow Company\u201d.\u00a0 It was the only animal act in the airshow business and featured me as the sad tramp clown, \u201cKrashbern T. Throttlebottom\u201d.\u00a0 Also in the act was a talented Border Collie named \u201cAce, the Wonder Dog\u201d, the Acme Ducks, and Nancy Lochrie, who played the part of the Duck Lady.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Larry Cansler<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The show at Oxnard stood out among all the shows at which I performed for fourteen years.\u00a0 I met a musician named Larry Cansler there.\u00a0 Larry enjoyed some renown for having written the hit, \u201cWildfire\u201d which was performed by Michael Martin Murphy.\u00a0 Larry was enjoying a successful career as a conductor, composer and musician.\u00a0 He was also an aviator and a very enjoyable character.\u00a0 We went for a ride in my Cub and I introduced him to the thrills of waterskiing in an airplane.\u00a0 We later collaborated on a video which featured his music combined with aerial footage that I shot while flying over Mount Shasta and Mount McLaughlin.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019ve been friends ever since.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Duke in his F-4<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It was at the Oxnard show that I also met America\u2019s first missile ace, a dashing F-4 pilot named Randy \u201cDuke\u201d Cunningham.\u00a0 Ol\u2019 Duke ran for Congress, got elected and was promptly convicted of accepting bribes from military contractors.\u00a0 I think he\u2019s still doing time in the \u201cBig House\u201d.<\/p>\n

While doing a promotional flight before this show, I also experienced one of the most unpleasant run-ins that I\u2019ve ever had with an air traffic controller.<\/p>\n

Now don\u2019t get me wrong.\u00a0 For one thing one of my very dearest friends is an FAA Tower Chief as well as being a very skilled pilot.\u00a0 Another very respected friend and associate is a retired FAA inspector.\u00a0 So I don\u2019t condemn all feds although I will admit to a certain prejudice.\u00a0 I think that, with some notable exceptions, \u201cthem what knows, does.\u00a0 Them what don\u2019t know, teaches, and them what don\u2019t know and can\u2019t teach, govern.\u201d\u00a0 And before you think I haven\u2019t thought of it, yes, I teach.\u00a0 I never said I was a good teacher.\u00a0 People keep asking so I keep teaching.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s how I remember those events, through the haze of time:\u00a0 I guess the thought of someone who can\u2019t do what I do, presuming to tell me HOW to do what I do, kind of annoys me.\u00a0\u00a0 And this event occurred when I was an airshow pilot.\u00a0 You see, airshow pilots tend to be a rather unique group of aviators.\u00a0 Where most non-professional general aviation pilots are not very skilled, airshow pilots are at the top of their game.\u00a0 They fly as all pilots wish they could.\u00a0 Perhaps that\u2019s why I was surprised at the reply I got when I called Oxnard Tower and told them that another performer and I were inbound for landing as a flight of two after our press photo flight.<\/p>\n

\u201cFormation landings are not allowed at Oxnard,\u201d I was informed by a very matter-of-fact air traffic controller.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh, we\u2019re doing a photo flight and are planning to do a landing shot,\u201d I told the guy in the tower cab.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot allowed\u201d, he said.\u00a0 I was reminded of an old picture I saw featuring Goofy.\u00a0 The caption read, \u201cMuh mind\u2019s made up; don\u2019t confuse me with the facts!\u201d<\/p>\n

Now, in spite of a very small number of peoples\u2019 opinions (you know who you are), I really don\u2019t have a short fuse or hair-trigger temper.\u00a0 But this situation really angered me.\u00a0 I was being told that I was not allowed to do something at which I was well-practiced by some yayhoo who probably wasn\u2019t qualified to carry my or the other pilot\u2019s flight bag.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine,\u201d I replied.\u00a0 \u201cDo you suppose you could clear me to land, then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPiper one two eight bravo lima, you are cleared to land, runway two-five\u201d, the yayhoo answered.<\/p>\n

I made a short approach and landed in a turn on the right wheel. \u00a0Then I banked on to the left wheel, took the first turn-off in front of the tower and rolled up to it.\u00a0 The engine\u2019s impulse couplings were still ticking to a stop when I was out of the airplane.\u00a0 I stalked up to the tower and yanked on the door knob, fully intending to take the steps of the inside staircase two at a time and confront the louse.\u00a0 The door was locked.<\/p>\n

There was a phone on the wall outside the door.\u00a0 I picked it up and heard a buzz.\u00a0 Then a voice at the other end said, \u201cOxnard Tower.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOpen this door!\u201d I demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t have time for a tower visit right now\u201d, he said.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
The Duck Lady<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I was furious.\u00a0 I made some comment about his dubious genetic background and slammed the phone back in its cradle so hard that the entire unit was ripped out of the wall and hung impotently from its wires.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Krashbern and Ace. Ace is snarling at some tower guy.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I stomped back to my Cub, propped it and hopped in.\u00a0 I taxied back to the airshow pit area and got out where I was pitted.\u00a0 The truck and trailer in which I hauled my plane, live ducks and two border collies was there and the Duck Lady was giving the ducks a bath.\u00a0 I stormed over to the truck and fully expected her to share my anger at the dunce in the tower.\u00a0 I related to her what had happened.\u00a0 She looked at me for a second, clearly noting my baggy, patched\u00a0 overalls, old time helmet and goggles, seat pack parachute and grease-painted face with sad mouth, red cheeks and drawn-on tears.\u00a0 She considered the details I had just shared with her and dryly commented, \u201cDo you have any idea how ridiculous you look?\u201d<\/p>\n

I guess the moral of my little story is that you should never hesitate to give some dumbass a piece of your mind\u2026just don\u2019t do it in greasepaint.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Happy Swooping,<\/p>\n

Brian<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A fond memory of the airshow days and the people I met back then.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":767,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tailwheelersjournal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/746"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tailwheelersjournal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tailwheelersjournal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tailwheelersjournal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tailwheelersjournal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=746"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/tailwheelersjournal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/746\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tailwheelersjournal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/767"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tailwheelersjournal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=746"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tailwheelersjournal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=746"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tailwheelersjournal.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=746"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}